My Dad is the Monolith

January 5th, 2007

Dear reader,

While I assume you have seen 2001 and fully understood it’s clearly laid out plot, allow me to indulge myself with some needless recap:

The Monolith, in 2001, is an alien-created evolution booster. If you recall, the movie starts out with some simians frolicking near the Big Black Block, which gives the apes/monkeys (I can’t remember which) a bit of an evolutionary boost, resulting in one of the monkeys thinking, “Hey! A bone! I bet that a small amount of torque at one end of the bone will make the far end of the fulcrum move really fast, and that the resulting kinetic energy can be applied to Monkey Bob’s head, rendering him insensible!”, at which point he clobbers Monkey Bob with the bone.

While I always took 2001 to be science fiction (despite being set several years in the past, a stylistic quirk which has yet to be explained), I now realize that it was in fact a documentary, and that modern day monoliths apparently look and act exactly like my dad.

Which is a damn long introduction for an indulgent and silly post:

I visited the folks for Christmas, with my wife and son. My son is 9 and a half months old, and was doing pretty well for himself. He could:

Then we left him with my dad while we went out (shopping, I believe, but then again I think the default condition for our trip to Houston was “shopping”), and when I came back, evolution had been given a boost. By the end of the two week trip, his reportoire grew from “crawling, propping himself up, walking with furniture support, and laughing” to:

So, all in all, I’d like to thank the aliens who created my father, and make a little request: if you are capable of doing a monolith firmware update, could you add “prevent child from trying to gouge out eyeballs or stick fingernail into sensitive nasal septum”?

2 Responses to “My Dad is the Monolith”

  1. Joe Says:

    The only thing I really remember about your Dad was his obsession with “tickling” to death his younger brothers… And to think I had to go thru his beedroom to get to mine .
    Does he do that with the kid? If so, you have my permission to bend both of his fingers backwards…

    Your uncle Joe

  2. bugbread Says:

    No, he doesn’t do the tickle thing. He’s more into the “read nursery rhymes” thing, which is probably far less traumatic.

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