Tales of High Security

January 16th, 2007

I have a friend. This friend works in a workplace which has a guard at its entrance, who makes sure that no terrorists or people dressed in Godzilla costumes try to enter the workplace. One of the duties of the guard is to check people’s bags.

When they instituted the policy, there was some worry that there would be a traffic jam at the entrance. My friend was particularly worried, as he owns the following bag:

Adio Backpack
There are 11 pockets on that bag. Or rather, 11 that I know of. There may be even more, lurking in the shadows or hidden by little decorative covers.

But the fortunes smiled on my friend: from what he has been able to see, the actual role of the guard is not, as you might assume, to check if there is any contraband in the bag. No, it is to make sure that at least one of the zippers works! That’s right, the entire bag check consists of watching one unzip one zipper. Not looking inside the bag, and certainly not looking at every pocket, but just making sure that, yes, indeed, those zippers are not all decorative flourishes, but at least one of them does indeed unzip.

For now, my friend opens the main zipper on the front, but he is strongly considering gradually moving down the zipper-importance ladder until, eventually, the only zipper he opens is one of the zippers on the little pockets evidently designed to contain chewing gum or perhaps a Super Bouncy Ball.

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